Exodus

My wait for summers was finally over. Spent about a month & a half with a KPO. While in office, i was so damn bored, that i took to writing. 3 poems!!!
I was satisfied with my feeble effort.
Thats not the focus of this post though.

Back to college n it feels great. or so i thought...
The final years of formal education. This would ideally mean that people studying here would be mature enough. I was too naive. "History repeats" is an oft-heard phrase. I'm living to experience it...unfortunately.

A normal case...a very good friendship between a boy n a girl. People dont like this (to think i'd see this in Mumbai!!!). That's the beginning of the end. Things turn awry...everything's merely a formality now. F*** ! y the hell can't people have a mind of their own? More importantly, y is it that i'm the only victim of this stupidity?

Guess its a sign from above...time to move on...or move out mayb. Freaks me out...Am i meant to compromise all the time?

Freaky Ordeal

This part of my life is called "waiting in anxiousness". 1st year's done. Supposed to be doin a 2 month summer internship. Only that i havnt found any project yet. How good or bad can that be?

Well...enjoying a break...a much welcome one at that. But the break is getting onto me now. Cant wait to get in there & start with somethin'.

Whats more harrowing is that i'm the only 1 left in class. And that's no great feelin'. How did i end up like this? This wasnt really the path i'd forseen. Sometimes i wonder...was i being too choosy about the projects that came to college in the early days? Maybe so...but i didn't see any harm then n i dont see any harm now. I was clear even before i'd joined college that i wanted to take up finance as my specialization. Now that was a conscious decision. Just not able to figure out what went wrong.

Been on the lookout for over a month now. Came home for a week to meet a few people here for the same. Nuthin has materialized yet. So what do i do...i enjoy my time with my friends. Got cousins visiting, catching up with good old friends. People would actually think i'm on a holiday. But heck they wouldnt know the ordeal that i'm goin thru. It's freakin' me out. Spoke to a lotta people of repute. But as Murphy puts it, "..if something can go wrong, it will." So here i am...stuck in the worst lean patch of my life.

A few of my friends are there who keep me goin'. Coupla them are just as bothered as i am. It's all about hangin' in there. About not getting mind f***ed.

This part of my life is called ...

Holding on....

Why is it that i suddenly start realizing how much i miss someone when that person is ready to pack his bag & leave for a new place? Or is it really how it seems? Maybe its how much i'll miss that person in the future. Who am i tryin to fool here?

All this while there was no real effort to stay in touch. But the whole idea that the person is just a few miles away is reassuring in itself. Not anymore... Apprehension has popped its ugly face. How, or more importantly, when will i get to meet that person again? There are suddenly so many thoughts that are running through my blank mind. I hate this state of perplexity.

" It wasn't really sad, the way we said goodbye
Maybe it just hurt so bad, she couldn't cry
He packed his things, walked out the door & drove away....
& she became the girl from yesterday!

He took a plane across the sea to some foreign land
She stayed at home & tried so hard, to understand
How someone who had been so close, could be so far away
& she became the girl from yesterday!

The light's on in the window, she's waiting by the phone
Talkin' to a memory, that's never comin' home
She dreams of his returning & the things that he might say
But she'll always be, the girl from yesterday! "

- Eagles : The girl from yesterday

Everything seems hazy. Solitude is my companion.

The bottom line still remains.....
What am i holding on to?

eXtend 07

My debut on stage as far as being a host for an event goes! eXtend 07 was an eBiz summit that was organized by our class. I was asked to be one of the people on stage to introduce the speakers. During the auditions, i was asked to "de-accentize" myself (whatever that means!!!). I wasn't 2 sure i'd b able to do that (not that i wanted to anyway...) ; not while i've spent the past 2 years of my life speaking like that.

The summit was a forum for corporate leaders to discuss the future of eBiz & the challenges faced by companies in this respect. Stood at the podium, shaky knees & shivering hands. My voice cracked....thought i'd lost it. But i managed to get away with a few mistakes.

Thought i'd mastered the art when i found myself at the podium for the next round of panel discussion. Altho' the knees were rooted & the hands felt like they've been there, done that, my brain wasnt ready yet to come to terms with this situation. Blunder seems such a soft word. Disaster would probably fit the bill. Whats worse is that there aren't many critics around who'd give you a piece of their true mind. I dont want people to tell my "Hey, we dint even notice it!" Now that's CSR. I hope people stop being politically correct.

The Genesis

Hmmm....

I was very skeptical about starting a blog, dint really know what it'd b like. Had heard a lot abt how it can be used like a pensieve, to pen down ur thoughts. Never really got to start one....not until now. Thought i'd take the plunge. So here i am...